I don't believe most men are even aware of this kind of behavior. But I am certain women are. Because if a guy is conscious of this at any point, it is when he is with a woman he is trying to sleep with. He is definitely trying to please her. And that is counter to his goals.
Yes, women don't exactly 'crave' the nice guy who is doing everything he can to please her. It's a turn off, if the truth were to be known. Because women don't want a dog. And if they do, they want a cute little purse pet...which could be you if you are not careful.
Yes, most men are dogs. But a small percentage are wolves. Wolves take what they want. When they want it. When I seduce a girl, I have been told they were surprised when I grabbed then and kissed them so hard an passionately. "I wasn't even sure you liked me," one very willing girl said.
A man cannot be free until he unshackles himself from the expectations of others and stops trying to prove himself by pleasing others. Fuck social conventions. Do what you want. Be a real man who does what he wants because, simply, he wants it.
This, of course, applies to BDSM and being a Master: a Master is not 'trying' to please. He's taking what he wants. A good Master should get off on the sounds of her submitting, cumming and experiencing the pleasures he places upon her. But he is ultimately pleasing her because he want to hear her cum for his own pleasure.
I am a wolf. I have long associated with the animal. I have tracked them and even gotten within about 20m of a pack before they detected me (which is much much more difficult than it sounds and was the result of a couple days efforts). Sometimes I catch myself in a pattern of, 'I should do this because' yada yada and the realize, no, I don't want to do that because it doesn't suit me. So fuck that.
Most men are dogs, eager to please and content with being an 'employee' doing some job that another assigned for them. But I think like a wolf. I do better hiring people than going to interviews (I have interviewed/hired far more people that I have no chance of ever seeing that many interviews from the other side.) I see people judge the car I drive --I have talked with pickup driving morons who don't like my little Japanese car-- and I think, fuck those guys. This car rocks for my purposes: fuel efficient, big trunk, low maintenance, reliable, and cheap ('cause God knows it'll be junk in 10 years or so why the fuck buy a 'good' car that will just mean you lost even more money in the end.) If you think I drive a terrible car, I respect you less because 1) you can't see the superiority of my choice and 2) you can't respect my decision 3) you don't have to drive it so why does it matter at all. (On cars, I really couldn't give a fuck about them but I found out recently that I have driven the most expensive production car ever made, a Bugatti, which was not a car I'd ever heard of before I drove it but
whatever...and the guy I told the story to didn't believe me. He thought I was trying to impress him...which is counter to my nature. And if I were trying to impress him, it wouldn't occur to me to use a car story because that's just dumb. He googled the car, and I was like, 'yup, that's it' and he said 'no way, you never drove that.' I didn't care in the slightest but reaffirmed, 'Yes, I did.' Because I did drive it.)
My main point, long and rambling as it is, is that men should strive to please themselves far more than anyone external to them self. You can't be free until you throw away the idea that you can and should try to please others over yourself. I don't believe that 'nice guys finish last' because that doesn't seem to be the case. But being nice is different from trying to please. Trying to please comes off as false and having ulterior motives. It is simpler to be a wolf and do what you want...and it will come off as genuine every time.