10 Insane Sex Toy Warnings

Buyer Beware
I gave my pet a new dildo which was used effectively to make her cum. She really liked it because it has a foreskin (which seems odd to me that dildos without foreskins are basically non-existent and I had to specifically search one out for her.)  As we laid in bed afterwards, she read off some of the warnings that came with the dildo. (And just so you know, this is just a standard dildo made from good quality, low toxicity plastic as I could not find a silicone one.)

Here were warnings that came with just one dildo that I opened yesterday (this is not a compiled list):

The actual source of these warnings
1) Keep sex toys separate and not together with other products made of different materials to avoid chemical reactions.

Umm....WTF is this made of ???  And to be clear, I can't keep the toys separate and together.

2) For external use only

Why would anyway possibly put a dildo inside themselves?

3) For novelty use only

My cock is for novelty purposes only too.

4) The product is not intended for commercial use.

Damn. So much for pimping out my dildo.

5) Not for medical use.

Fair enough.  If my doctor tried to fix my broken leg with one of these, I would be concerned.

6) Please take note of your national legislation.

Yeah, nothing is sexier than reading the code of laws. I am supposed to read all the laws, right?

7) Any product use that has adverse effect on any function of the body is prohibited.

Best catch all phrase ever.

8) Make sure to insert the articles gently.

What happens if I insert it in her roughly??

9) Small parts can be swallowed.

This is on a thick, 8 inch dildo...

And finally
10) Careful handling and use of the sex toy protects you from damage or accidents.

Omg! This dildo is WAY better than insurance!!


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